In Here We Fall

after dealing with everything we have been through the last few weeks, things are now calm. its nice to have a small break from all the madness. today is my day off i plan on spending it doing crafts and cooking, taking time for myself doing things i love to do; because coming up things are going to be crazy again. at least i get some peace for now its not a constant suffering. im glad i have no complaints right now.

i hate that my new post is about how much of a bitch my manager is but i need to vent. i cant do it on facebook so ill do it on here. i used to love and respect her but now she has abused and shit on me so much to the point where im saying fuck you. no matter what i do or how hard i work its not right or good enough ever. im sick and tired of it. what sent me over the edge is before i left today she told me to be nice, i have been nothing but fucking nice to these assholes that come in. the reason i have a fucking attitude or acted stressed is because of YOU! she never tells me what i do right. i cant just vent to her like a normal person because all she does is tell me its my fault or she tells me to calm down. she does and says the same thing to people!!! sure i could go to her about all this but she would just tell me to deal with it or tell me to quit or cut my hours.

i completely forgot about this thing until nat reminded me. i think ill try to keep up with this thing again, i did like it a lot.

i had a wonderful birthday this year, i was lucky and it lasted a whole week. i got spoiled rotten i felt so nice. i got a lot of very nice things i am very thankful to have all the great people in my life, they love and care for me so much. yesterday nat and i went to new student orientation it felt so good to be back in college mode again. then we went over to my mom's she took nat and i out to dinner, oh man we stuffed ourselves then we relaxed on the couch watching tv. nat found me a hello kitty cake i was so surprised it topped my birthday awesomeness, we ate some cake then headed home. i relaxed with luke the rest of the night. today i slept in did some housework and took a nap with luke, we had someone quit at my job so im working 2nd shift tommrow and prob the rest of the weekend which is fine i dont have to take a break and its a nice change; once in awhile i dont mind working 2nd shift. i cannot wait to start school it doesnt start until june 7th i hate waiting but it also gives me time to save some money get my dental surgery and recover. life is really moving forward for me i feel so good about things.

christ on a cracker i havent been on here in forever. for some odd reason me being annoyed with life today somehow made me miss livejournal, ive been sucked into the world of facebook for so long i forgot how much i like this thing. so much has happend i have either blogged about it on my myspace or facebook so i dont feel like retyping everything here so i think ill just start on current things. work was ok today just people being annoying as always then i had to be tortured with walmart for awhile, now i am finally home and safe from the outside world. i am so ready to start school and be done struggling with money all the time i am so damn sick of it, so i am going to work nonstop until i reach my goal of a career. im too tired to rant anymore at the moment so im sure i will return with more random thoughts.

i really enjoyed my 3 days off, yesterday i had a super fun awesome girly day with my sister and her friend adeele. first we went to look at a apartment we really loved it so we got an application to fill out, then we went to the mall to meet up with adeele and she also set up a free makeover at MAC which is her favorite makeup place. the guy that did my makeup was amazing he gave me great tips and had me hold a mirror and watch how he did my makeup. i got some new stuff to get me started i needed to be pampered i had a rough week at work so it felt nice to look like a moviestar. after the mall we went to get some food we went to bw3s i got a tall glass of blue moon beer with an orange i felt like i deserved it, we ate wings and laughed. then we stopped by petsmart so nat could check on her paycheck of course i had to go look at the dogs and cats they were so cute. nat and adeele went to play mini golf i just relaxed in bed, after they got back they hooked up his 360 and we played some streetfighter he had like arcade controls it was awesome. after that we went on our little roadtrip to take him home we stopped at taco bell, i must say ive never had so much fun at a taco bell but my sister really makes anything fun even walmart trips. so we dropped him off and we had a good talk on the way back so all in all yesterday was pretty awesome. today wasnt too bad either i got to sleep in and relax we dropped off the app and did some more running around, tommrow morning i have an interview at kohls and im super excited i hope i get it; i like shell but i need some more money. some plans may change but i cant wait to move out. life is really moving for me i love where its going and im not going to stop im going to keep on truckin.

im counting down the days until luke gets here. i have a countdown clock on my profile and its hello kitty lol yes im a dork. im so excited that he set a date and is actually coming back to me i miss him so much. i had the worst day yesterday i was ready to scream by the time the night was over, first off the internet wouldnt work upstairs which was making me crazy then i had to work. i was so tired and grumpy and the customers were being jerks, then i had a customer who was having trouble with the pump i preset the pump 2 times like he asked then he tried another pump his wife used her card they got about 5 bucks worth of gas; it only charges you what you pump. so they left then after a bit my printer jams awesome so i had to open the other register then later in the night that old couple comes back and is like we were charged 100 dollars and we didnt pump that, i said no you didnt pump anything so you didnt get charged they argued of course. so then the wife calls the bank then they leave not even 5 minutes later i see the sheriff pull up, THEY CALLED THE DAMN SHERIFF ON ME!!! i wasnt scared i didnt start crying i kind of laughed and was pissed, the officer comes in i explain everything to him he turns to them and says ok its just a preset you didnt get charged for it ill make a note of what happend it will be dropped off your account within 2 days have a nice night. ya i was done i had enough i drove home made myself some dinner then pouted in my room for the rest of the night, i normally let that stuff go but this was just crazy and i couldnt believe they did that to me. today was a much better day and tommrow is going to be even better. i no longer hate everything life is good again.

hello everyone i figured it was time for a blog. things are moving right along nicely. ive been working working working and saving that money, ive also been getting over a little cold. today i feel back to normal but i was pretty sick for a week or so. today nat and i went apartment hunting we found 2 that we really liked one we got to look at and the other wont be ready to look at until saturday so we are going back to check it out, looking at the floorplan of the second one its bigger and a little nicer for the price, the location is really good too. nat is getting closer and closer to getting her car i hope she finds one very soon, she also starts her second job tommrow at the melting pot; shes growing up so fast im so proud of her. im hoping i wont have to get a second job as of right now im working full time but who knows what could happen the next couple weeks, im willing to do anything it takes. luke has finally set a date for his move down here i called him tonight and told him that nat and i could not sign a lease until we knew for sure when he was coming down here, which is true because he is bring a lot of things we need. he has decided on november 2nd which is perfect it gives us all more time to save money and make plans, he is also bringing nat's cat sadie with him which is so super nice of him to do. the next month is going to be the longest of my life im so excited i cannot wait to be with luke again this time apart has been really rough, its getting to him too. so life is really good and moving along the way i want it to. ive also lost about 15 pounds which is an amazing amount for only a month and a half, ive been eating better and staying away from junk if i do eat it its only once and awhile. i feel really good about my future and how my life is going now, im so glad i moved im doing so much better here. i have really grown and changed for the better i feel like i can do anything now

thought i would blog before i went to work. im on my 6th day in a row i still have to work tommrow then im off friday and saturday, friday is going to be a super fun day for us. we have a full day planned well first we have to take care of driving stuff nat needs to switch her license and i have to get a state inspection and plates but before i can do all that i have to get texas car insurance that is coming along nicely, every place we check its cheaper and cheaper. i got my health insurance set up with work yay!! once i get my insurance card im going to the doctor to get a physical then im getting glasses then im getting my teeth cleaned. things are really falling into place for me im doing really really well and im very happy here im so glad i moved. im getting really excited because its september that means luke will be here very soon, im flying up there to drive down with him and i cannot wait!!! when he picks a date that he is leaving which i hope he does soon im going to put in my request at work im going to take like 4 days off, that will give us plenty of time to get down here and get him settled. i looked through a apartment guide yesterday at work i found tons of places for really cheap, i love being with my mom but im itching to move out i know im ready; i know what to do and how to balance out everything. since im finding such cheap insurance both health and car im not worried at all im really excited and so proud of myself i have really come a long way. thats about it for now im sleeping better at night no more nightmares and ive been able to settle down and fall asleep, there are so many fun and exciting things coming up its hard for me to settle down. i keep telling myself one step at a time.

today i had the most wonderful fun healing day with my mother. it is what we needed we needed that time together, we bonded on a whole new level today. after we dropped nat off at work we went to eat then we talked and talked, then we went to see about insurance i learned a lot just from that. then we went and got my car washed on the outside and inside its so shiny and smells so good now, then we went to walmart got a bunch of stuff we needed it felt so good to pay for my own stuff or to have money at all was amazing. then we dropped off the stuff and headed to the mall to play around man was it fun!! ive never had so much fun shopping in my life and i really really like the woodlands mall ive never liked a mall but i love this one. we went to lane bryant i got some new panties and we saw a bunch of stuff we wanted i couldnt buy anything else but i made a mental note of what i want to get at some point, then we were off to find me a new purse. we were like kids in a candystore we went purse crazy we saw so many that we loved my mom even got 2 purses!! i found the perfect one i just love it i finally got to give nat her purse back ive had it for months lol. we were so excited about purses and so tired at the same time that by the time we reached the car my mom realized she was missing her lane bryant bag lol!! i just laughed about it so we walked back in the mall back to where we were and there it was sitting on the shelf, what a relief. we made it back to the car and we were a little late picking nat up from work it was still funny. we made it back home and had dinner it was quite a hilarious dinner we kept making each other laugh so hard, the whole vibe of the day was so wonderful which made for a very nice evening. i am so freakin tired but i cant sleep for some reason ive been having this problem the past couple nights, i dont like it i can barely stay awake during the day all i think about it sleep but when it comes time to go to sleep i cant do it. my mom said she knows someone who i can talk to who is a therapist, i need to make sure im alright mentally. i was diagnosed with ADD when i was real young and i think its getting worse as i get older my relationship suffers because of it, im so lucky i have luke i dont know how he puts up with my crap i would have dumped me months ago lol but he loves me a lot; for some reason he can look past all my issues. i know that since the move i am much better my mind feels much clearer and i can focus on what i need to do, im not giving up or giving in to any problems i come upon. life is so sweet and so good for me right now.